mama,
i am so glad that you are safe! and yes i know that shaking in the body after being verbally assaulted. not from islamophobia. but yes girls like us dont get to simply walk down the street.
today i am thinking about girls like us, the little communities that we create of folks who are struggling as we are to surrender ourselves to the deep silence. how although we all have different outward practices, we are holding each others lives in our palms. we are telling each other there is space for you, for us in this world.
today i wrote:
i am very grateful for all my sistren who have worked with me to ask the difficult questions. who do not let me take the easy way out. who do not fluff up my ego. who arent scared of receiving or giving critique. who laugh with me in difficult times. thank you. thank you. thank you.
and everytime we do this. ask the difficult questions aloud. refuse to allow ourselves the easy out. we are encouraging others to do the same.
this practice requires patience. so much patience. our answers dont come quickly. we have to wait. and wait. and wait some more. and we cannot distract ourselves from looking at the world. we have to stay curious. we have to stay present. or we will have given up. not just on ourselves. but on each other.
i cannot control another person. i just have to understand them. stay curious about them. rather than allowing myself to take the easy way out and attack them for not being who i want them to be. i have to ask the deep questions. who are you? who are we? and then wait for the answers.
i am practicing patience with myself. not expecting to have it all right, right now. that i am allowed to take up space and time in the world even if i am not perfect.
and i am so grateful to my sistren who are practicing patience, questioning, looking deeply at the world, moving the ego out of the way. they sustain me.
thank you.
