dear Mai’a,
i really related to that last post. you’re so right… girls like us face down things every day. it’s not always a man in a big truck either. sometimes it’s other women online. and that’s why when we find our sisters, we have to stick together. i’m mighty blessed as i’ve been told i’ve got brothers i can count on too. but there is something special about connecting with other women. you know, growing up i had a harder time connecting with girls and women. i was a tomboy and found that guys were more inclined to be friendly with me. since becoming Muslim, i’ve been forced to cultivate relationships with women and avoid relationships with men. and that hs been hard for me, but it gets better with more time & practice. AlhamdulAllah for the internet, since some of my deepest most meaningful friendships have been formed with women online, such as you, that i would never have had an opportunity to know otherwise.
as Ramadan is a time for deep reflection, i reflect on the relationships i have, the relationships i wish i had, and yes, even what relationships are toxic and need to go. strangely, i think we have a harder time cutting off toxicicity from people and situations that we aren’t even all that close to or deeply invested in. maybe it’s because we aren’t so invested and figure we can leave anytime, so we stick it out longer than we really should. i am learning to really value those relationships where i can be authentic and where i am open to the authenticity of the other person(s) as well. sisterhood isn’t really sisterhood if i have to hide parts of myself or am too self-centered to let them be the complicated women they are.
i am definitely seeking authentic relationships now. they are essential to my survival in this world.
